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This website is SATIRE.

It is a survival guide for dealing with aliens, zombies, demons, and so forth. It talks about teenage werewolves and carnivorous plants and fifty-foot women in leopard skin bikinis. It is not meant to be taken seriously.

I feel astonished that I have to make this disclaimer, but I have gotten about a dozen pieces of hate mail at this point. They talk about how I obviously don’t know anything about crop circles, or necromancers, or how little green men don’t abduct people like I described. That I really need to do some research because I’m embarassing myself.

Once again: this is satire. When I talk about laptop computers bringing down an alien mothership, I am referencing the movie ‘Independence Day’. When I talk about a prehistoric lizard rampaging through Tokyo, I am talking about ‘Godzilla’.

Thank you for reinforcing my faith about humanity.

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