EVIL FAERIES – Tooth Fairies
Do you remember the tooth fairy as a child? If you lost a tooth, you left it beneath your pillow, and she’d leave a quarter behind. You then found out it was your mother doing this, and lost a bit of your innocence. Well, it turns out that tooth fairies are real after all. They’re tiny little bastards, with sharp teeth that can bite through almost anything. They eat constantly, stopping only to poop so they can make more room for food. The reason they’re called tooth fairies is they subsist almost entirely on a diet of pure calcium (which your teeth are filled with).
This makes them extraordinarily dangerous when confronted in large numbers. They’ll immediately swarm around a victim, going for the teeth and digging through the person’s flesh in order to get at the bones. There are a few preventative steps that you can take to protect yourself – make sure to never brush your teeth, use mouthwash, or drink milk of any kind. Your teeth will quickly rot away to nothing and your bones will weaken dramatically, so any tooth fairies that you stumble across will likely forego you for a more appetizing feast.